everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
