Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
