My room smells like vodka and shame
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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