I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
