winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
