Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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