just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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