wrigley field is MILF paradise
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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