all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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