so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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