Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize