dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
