she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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