margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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