I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
