no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
