My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she peed on how many people?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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