Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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