He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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