in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just want nice things and good sex
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
