I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
