Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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