We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
