i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
