Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
