Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
