yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
