I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
