just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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