woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
