you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
