she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
