i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
