I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
