When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think weed is turning my hair brown
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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