One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize