Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
