did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
