who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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