Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
