i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
