i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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