I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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