just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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