no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize