when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
