Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
