its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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