So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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