Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
