Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
