covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
