Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
