Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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