just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
