i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
