We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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