Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
