fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
