Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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