That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
