Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
