Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
