Please, let me fuck your mom
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
