A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
