Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize